So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
