just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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