She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
