just tell him i said nine months
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
