Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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