So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
