Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
