i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
