I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
