I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
