He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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