I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
