She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
