wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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