I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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