Whod you bang
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
