Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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