I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize