He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
