he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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