I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
