he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
