If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
