Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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