you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
