look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
