I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
