Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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