we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
