Who did Billy Mays play for?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
