They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
