Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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