Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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