He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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