oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
A bitchslap is in order.
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