my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
