it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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