Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
