i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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