so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize