If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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