I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
