I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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