You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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