that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
