I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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