ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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