He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
