I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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