1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
