turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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