dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
