Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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