bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
