Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
