i don't like sucking hair
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Found your dick twin last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
