Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
