Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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