I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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