THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
