took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
