ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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