erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
