Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
