One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
