All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize