We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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