lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
