I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
