Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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