Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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