Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
