whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
