if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
