You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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