We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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