no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
