nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Of course I have a pirate flag
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
