I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
